Wednesday, October 15, 2008

She'll Teach English

The English Teacher
Tips for Proper English
1. Avoid alliteration. Unless your writing a picture book.
2. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
4. Employ the vernacular.
5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
7. Remember to never split an infinitive.
8. Contractions aren't necessary.
9. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
10. One should never generalize.

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