She'll Teach English

The English Teacher

Tips for Proper English

1. Avoid alliteration. Unless your writing a picture book.

2. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.

4. Employ the vernacular.

5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.

7. Remember to never split an infinitive.

8. Contractions aren't necessary.

9. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

10. One should never generalize.